The good memories you have of your childhood are some of the reasons you want to go back when you are facing difficult times. You might be having trouble financially as an adult and wish to revert to the carefree life you had as a child. Your marriage might be failing, and you look back at how your parents seemed to have everything together when they were raising you and your siblings.
No childhood is perfect even if they feel like that on the surface. Though you might have found out about the problems your parents hid from you growing up, this does not discount all the positive memories you have. Despite this, you still feel homesick. Here’s why:
Adults Need to Fend for Themselves
One marker of your childhood is getting everything done for you. You had your parents to prepare your breakfast and pack your lunch. All the bills are paid without you needing to know the specifics. When you are in trouble, your parents come to your rescue. Those unfamiliar and scary concepts you encountered in the class were easily tackled by your parents who helped with your homework. You had a guiding hand; the hardest decision you ever made can be considered trivial now that you are an adult.
Now, you need to do things by yourself. Forget to pay the bills, and you will face the consequences. Dinner is either created from your hard work or served at the nearest burger joint in Singapore. Concepts you find scary will always be scary until you gather up the courage to ask for help.
The Assumption that You Know Everything
When you were a child, everyone knew you needed help. You were still learning about this thing called life, and adults surrounding you were eager to help shape you into the person you are today. Somewhere along the way, you turned into an adult who is afraid of asking for help. You refuse to admit your weaknesses, and you would rather suffer twice as hard to hide your problems from your peers or your family. Lying about how bad things are is something all adults do, even though you would not want your loved ones to hide their real situation from you.
It takes a lot for an adult to swallow their pride and accept help. And while you are suffering, you longingly wish you were a child again so that you can cry and let someone else figure your problems out.
Home Is Your Safe Haven
Everyone longs for home even if it is in different ways. Your idea of a home might be the physical structure you grew up in, or it could be the abstract idea of comfort. Whatever it is, it is your haven, but it should not be unattainable. Should you need help, reach out. Your parents will always have that door open for you. Or better yet, create your own home wherever you are. Give yourself a safe space and surround yourself with people who have your best interests at heart. Fill it with familiar things that used to make you happy as a child, but reconcile your carefree younger self with your responsible adult persona.
You do not need to let go of home only to miss it when you feel weak. Hold on to the best bits of your childhood as you move forward in life.
